Hello Reddit recently, due to an (entirely heterosexual) encounter with a dildo and skirt, I have shit myself and cannot get it out of the carpet and skirt.
Basically, I bought a 15-inch red silicone t rex bad dragon dildo (for one of my many girlfriends not me i’m not gay) but when I was taking it out of the box I fell over wierdly and accidentally slid all 15 inches deep into my ass while wearing thigh highs and a skirt and jerking off with a gag in my mouth. but it went too deep and that made me have sudden explosive diarrhoea, and I guess the dildo must have punctured something cause there was a lot of blood in it, and then I got shocked and pissed myself right when i came (accidentally), so now there’s piss blood shit and cum in the carpet and all over the thigh highs and skirt and stuff and my parents are coming round tomorrow and I can’t get it out and there’s so much shit everywhere and my apartment has this vomit-inducing smell like someone died help what do i do?
Claim a pigeon did this
Claim a pigeon did thisDaha az gör
Better to shit in the cum than cum in the shit
Better to shit in the cum than cum in the shitDaha az gör
Eat them up
Eat them upDaha az gör
burn ur apartment and all of your papers and start a new life
burn ur apartment and all of your papers and start a new lifeDaha az gör
YTA no pigeon
YTA no pigeonDaha az gör
NTA your bodily fluids your rules
NTA your bodily fluids your rulesDaha az gör
murder everyone on earth so no one will find out
murder everyone on earth so no one will find outDaha az gör