20 reasons why Ohio sucks

1. Ohio is home to THE Ohio State University. Thats right THE same university that cheated in 2002 to beat Miami, THE same university that has lost 3 straight national championships, THE same school that has had more felons on its football team than a maximum-security prison. Plus adding THE ahead of THE school’s name may be THE gayest thing ever thought up by man
2. Ohio’s speed limit is 65. Just for reference, in between the big cities in the state there is absolute shit but fields or trees. Yet all the interstates are 65mph which forces you to spend more time in Ohio than you need to.
3. Cleveland is so polluted it made Lake Erie catch fire. I don’t think even the Chinese can pull that one off.
4. Cincinnati smells like ass.
5. Bob Huggins used to coach at Cincinnati, and the city loved him.
6. Ohio basically elected George W. Bush twice, then was promptly scorned by the nation. Yet now they voted for Hillary Clinton, who is even more like George W. Bush than republican candidate John McCain. Way to learn from your mistakes stupid ass Ohio.
7. 7 president’s have come from Ohio, and they all sucked balls.
8. Athletes like Maurice Clarett are glorified in Ohio. In other states, someone like Clarett would be sent to the gas chambers.
9. There is not one natural landmark that has any appeal in the whole state. Other shitty states like South Dakota has Mt. Rushmore and much maligned Indiana has its dunes. The closest thing Ohio has to it are the rest stops on the turnpike.
10. Akron is famous for three things. Tires, Lebron James and unemployment. The first one shipped all its jobs to Mexico to save money, Lebron is leaving in 2 years, which only leaves Akron as a stinking, dirty, rust belt city.
11. Ohio is the state that brought you Mike Cooper and Carl Monday.
12. Per population, Ohio probably has the highest number of dumb, ugly, and fat girls in the country. All the pretty ones have moved south and all the smart ones realized fast how bad the state was leaving only the ones too stupid to leave or too ugly to be allowed to cross the border.
13. Cleveland named its baseball team the Indians, even though there hasn’t been an Indian in the state in about a century.
14. If it wasn’t for Ohio, we’d never know who that fat fuck Drew Carey was.
15. Ohio has some of the worst winter weather in the nation. Yet when it snows there’s nothing to do because there’s no fucking mountains in the state to ski on, plus the depression caused by the constant cloudiness is only magnified when you realize you live in fucking Ohio.
16. Rumor is that syphilis was first documented at Ohio University.
17. Ohio State named the mascot of their sports teams after a famous murderer, at least they have good foresight.
18. Ohio has 240 superfund sites. The number would be higher, but the US Government thought it would be easier just to make each county one site instead of taking the time and effort to list each specific site individually.
19. George Steinbrenner is from Ohio. Hank Steinbrenner is from Ohio by proxy.
20. Ohio makes New Jersey look good in comparison