I suffer from social anxiety and I recover long years of isolation and social phobias. For about 1 year, I have been trying to cure myself of this anxiety/phobia. So, lately I have a fwb that I’ve known on an app (I didn’t sign on to find the great love, just to relax, because I don’t think we can get serious about it). From the beginning, like me, I know that he does not try to settle down. He is very single, I went several times to his house. You have to know that apart from that, I have a lot of prejudices about men (I never believe them, think they are liars….). I admit that I am a pessimistic (even very pessimistic) person.
To talk about the situation, I went to his house last week to spend the night. So I forgot a piece of clothing over there like we had to get up early as he had to go to work. I sent him a message a few days later to see if I had forgotten this garment. He confirmed that I had. I told him I wanted it. At the beginning of the week, I sent him a message to excite him (I know that at that time he was at work) and he did not answer well that he saw (about 4 hours later). I almost freaked out because he didn’t answer and I figured that he didn’t want to deal with me anymore. I was this close to sending him a message saying, “Okay I get it, you don’t want to have anything to do with me anymore, okay. But at least, but please could I get my clothing back. I promise you I would never interfere in your life again.” Finally, I reasoned and I didn’t. The next day, I just sent him a message asking him when I could get that garment back. He said “I’m on a business trip. Don’t worry, I’ll give it to you. But I’m in another city, sorry”. (it’s a city which is 300 km away). After that message, I didn’t send anything. I told myself at that moment, that he was probably lying and that it was an excuse not to see me. I was so tired of the anxiety that I simply resigned myself, he doesn’t want me anymore and I will never see this garment again (I like my stuff in general).
Two days later, I see his story on snap which confirms that he was on a business trip. I was shocked because in fact he was telling the truth. I admit that it reassured me. I thought that if he had not answered me, it was because he was probably very busy. He is a commercial, he told me that he has very busy schedules (mornings, when he has to get up at 5 am) and he spends a lot of time with his colleagues. He is very close to his boyfriends. That he even had trouble projecting himself into his schedule. The last time we saw each other, he woke up very early, got very busy at work. But he still wanted to see me and he was very excited to see me.
Until today, he has not blocked me. But I am constantly afraid that he will do it, I am afraid that I will never find my habit again.
Do you think it’s over?