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Boyfriends always mentions breaking up when we argue

Need some advice from some guys regarding my boyfriends behavior. We’ve been together for 5 years yet he shuts down anytime we argue and he gets petty and starts to belittle and joke. Today I just got back from a trip and was exhausted, and he called me to come over but changed my mind and wanted to stay home. He then called me at 11 o clock at night and hung up on me mid sentence. He then called me this morning not asking me but telling me to bring him breakfast to which I told him I can’t I have finals this week to study for to which he told me I wasn’t studying right now and how I always bring it up when he wants to hang out. I blew up and told him off about how he always has me on demand to do anything but when I say no it’s a problem. Another thing that really breaks my heart is that he always mentions breaking up with me when we argue. Almost every single fucking argument he brings it up. He makes me so happy and brings me so much joy but he doesn’t do much in the romance department. I always end up calling him, texting him, making plans. When I cry, he doesn’t even try to console me. He told me to leave him alone today and haven’t even gotten a text back. He and I have always joked around a lot and yet when it’s a serious moment for me he continues to joke, belittle me, and demean me. As if his problems and his work is the only thing that matters. My insecurity is telling me he’s cheating or not into me but I’m not sure…. I always feel as if I’m doing the most and he does the nothing or bare minimum when it comes to the romance and emotional department. Also at 18 I got kicked out of my house for reverently defending his ass and standing up for our relationship to my parents who disagreed with our relationship. He also 6 years after the incident continues to talk shit about my parents even though I tell him every SINGLE TIME that it really bothers me and politely have told him to stop. He also loves to joke I mean literally joke way to much about cheating on me and having side Hoes. He also has pushed our move in date to move in together multiple times. I would fucking junp off a bridge for this man, but imo he doesn’t seem to give the same energy that I am. I have begged him to move in with me when my family situation was bad but nothing came of that. is my man complete garbage or am I not communicating clearly?

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  1. “He makes me happy and brings me so much joy”

    No. Patently he doesn’t because you have written a litany of everything shitty that he does and not a single thing about how lovely he is.

    You are deluding yourself if you think this is a good balanced equal relationship. He is a narcissistic bullying selfish rude immature idiot.

    You can do so much better than to waste the rest of your life hoping he will get better. He wont because you let him treat you appallingly so why should he bother changing.

  2. Leave him. He is insecure about your value to him. You have a whole future ahead of you. Focus on yourself to have the best version of yourself in the future. Maybe he’ll learn his lesson, maybe not. Not your problem to fix him…

    Believe me when I tell you I learned my lesson after she broke up with me and focused on her life and her future. Not the same scenario but at the end… they all have similar concept…

    _Plus, don’t rely on the internet to tell you what to do. Then again, I just told you not NOT to rely on the internet_ ?

    > But seriously, find yourself a good support from friends and family who will hold you down and keep you focused. Good luck.

  3. If he is not willing to have a conversation with you about any disagreements like an adult, that sounds like a big problem. Trust me- these things don’t just go away or get better without work. It sounds like *he* has the problem communicating, not you.

  4. I don’t think your bf is emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship.
    1. He thinks a relationship is about you pleasing him, rather than a couple looking out for each other.
    2. He doesn’t seem to get that you are full, independent human being with her own needs.
    3. You shouldn’t be at anyone’s beck and all – heck, I grew up with maids and they weren’t at my beck and call.
    4. Belittling and demeaning you is a huge red flag
    5. Always threatening to break up is a sign of catastrophic reasoning. He can’t handle even slight disagreement, and when disagreement occurs, he thinks EVERYTHING should end.

    Please dump this guy. The best romantic partners should help you grow as a person, nurture you. You aren’t even married and you have THIS level of unhappiness. He’s not worth your time.

  5. The threatening to break up thing is emotional blackmail to try to force you to change or do whatever he wants. He sounds unwilling to compromise, unmoved by your feelings, and not invested in the relationship. Sooo…. more on the garbage side in my opinion.
    And I’d say that he’s probably not cheating and that you can’t be faulted for a lack of communication if he’s hanging up on you and refusing to talk on equal ground.

  6. From what I read yes he is garbage. Never understood how people can treat their significant other like that and people just take it. Like ummm you deserve better than that seriously. Self respect cmon folks. Very weird lol

    Like imagine if you had to live with him everyday through marriage or something and having to deal with that every single day. If not worse. Yeahhh I’ll pass. Not even worth it.

  7. So, You described a man who wants everything from you and gives nothing back?