Hello… I am 25 years old currently, have been struggling with depression and anxiety for a [long time]. I have since approximately 2014 collected and saved almost all my photos and video i’ve taken with my phone and cameras, memes I’ve found funny, Youtube videos I wanted to archive, video game saves of games that I’ve played, emulator roms, screenshots from games, certain chatlogs, and audio recordings. All of it stuff that I’ve created, or I felt became a part of me in some way, because I watched it, it influenced me, I wanted to use it for something later etc.
The amount of data that I stored wasn’t so much of an issue. I could easily store it all on a 4TB disk. But the folders of random meaningless junk grew. To some degree I thought it can’t be any problem if all my data can be stored on a common consumer 4TB disk. However, I needed the files to be organized, just in case I need to find it. Because of course, when I want to relive that random “happy memory” of a video I watched when I was alone in my room at 2 am while playing Kerbal space program and eating a taco bell shredded chicken burrito while watching House MD season 7 episode 16 of “Out of the Chute”, I can find it immediately. Turns out organizing 200,000 files in general is a lot of work.
Of course I don’t want to lose all of my precious collected media of stuff I’ve created and meme’s I’ve found, and game saves I’ve created. And I obviously don’t want to lose the incredibly hard work I put into organizing and storing them! So I need a solid as a rock backup solution. What if my house burns down? What if my state gets flooded? Let’s set up RAID. Okay let’s also set up Rclone. No let’s try Google Drive Backup and Sync. Let’s do Veeam B&R + LTO Tapes. It was a lot of time, money, and hundreds of hours wasted. Albeit, I learned quite a bit from the process, but not nearly as much as we like to think we are learning from our Tech hobbies…
And I would continue to game, and look at memes, and watch youtube videos, and waste time thinking as long as I’m saving all of this, It’s not progress lost! And it’s all still there. It’s not a lot- only about 3 Terabytes. I haven’t gone through it in about a year, since beginning through a severe bout of depression. I hardly ever look at any of it anymore. I think about it, laugh about it, and never really care to look at it. The more I look at these old screenshots of my guild from 2013 after we slayed Ultraxion, the more I do not give a shit anymore.
Since about March of this year I’ve got checked into therapy/psychiatry treatment. Turns out I have a pretty big case of OCD and severe trust issues. Data hoarding and organizing my data was just one of many ways for me to avoid interacting with other people, and building my own domain, where i have control, and i can trust it, since I’m the one who saved it. I don’t know if any of you out there are like me, but I just want to tell my story, and if you see yourself in my shoes.
Before you crank out another 6 hours going through S1 of 2018, ask yourself if you are spending enough time balancing out the other aspects of your life. It is not a bad thing to store lots of data if it’s important, but anything in excess can be a bad thing. Data hoarding and organizing can be absolutely addictive, and can easily trick you into thinking you are doing something productive, when you will probably look at it in the end and not give a flying fuck.